So, this past week our family got SUPER sick. Tasha got it first, and then I was on the couch for a day or two. My gut said I should swap my volunteer schedule at church, but I felt SUPER guilty:
"What if I started feeling better and could push through anyway?"
In the end, I trusted my gut, and changed my schedule around. And I'm really glad I did: because Alex came home feeling crummy on Saturday night, and by morning he was on the couch with a fever.
I felt conflicted because I was worried about inconveniencing someone else. I was worried because "what if I get better and could still do it?" and "what if I'm letting everybody down?"
Those fears are rooted in ONE thing: People-Pleasing.
It's been a few years since I learned how to STOP my people-pleasing tendencies and my life is SO different (and more peaceful!) now. So today I wanted to share my top 5 tips for people-pleasing… and girl, I promise: If you start practicing these tips, you'll be well on your way to being a Recovering People-Pleaser!
1. You have to know What's Important.
I use my list of "what's important" as a filter for difficult decisions. I go into depth on what those things are (and how to use them as a filter!) in this podcast episode!
2. You are allowed to say No!
Man. Sometimes you just need permission, amiright? So I'm giving you this hall-pass: For any reason, WHAT-SO-EVER, you are allowed to say No!
3. You don't Owe Anyone an explanation.
I noticed a trend in myself awhile ago: Whenever I felt guilty about saying no, I would over-compensate by explaining ALL THE THINGS. It's just not necessary! If all you say it "It won't work for me", that's absolutely fine.
and speaking of feeling guilty...
4. You should Never say yes out of Guilt.
Ever. EVER. If you're thinking about saying "yes" because you're feeling guilty, ashamed, or like you "have to"… it's NOT a good enough reason. PERIOD. In fact, I've learned that if I feel guilty, it's almost always a "no."
5. You need to Trust your Gut.
If someone asks you to do something and your heart drops into your stomach… it's a sure-fire reason to say "no." My hubby has coached me through this quite a few times, and I have never regretted trusting my initial "gut" reaction.
Often as people-pleasers, we take on too much. It's ALWAYS a good idea to follow through with commitments and be a reliable (trustworthy!) human… But if you're consistently taking on too much, it's time to take a closer look and pull a few things off your plate!
Are you a people-pleaser like I used to be?
Which tip did you most need to hear today?