Do you feel like goal setting is only for people who own a business or have big dreams? Do you think that your dreams are too small (or crazy)? Maybe you feel like the place you’re at in life doesn’t allow time for setting goals — much less achieving them.
You’re too busy wiping snotty noses or working 50 hours a week. You're too TIRED to have bigger dreams, right? Here’s the problem with this way of thinking:
If you don’t know where you’re going, at the end of the year you’ll be stuck wondering what in the HECK you did. You'll float from thing to thing, doing life on auto-pilot instead of living and LOVING every single day (like the gift it is!).
I did this for SO long. At the end of each year, I’d reflect back and think “Man. I didn’t do anything this year!” It's super discouraging.
I've learned that in life, you can't get to a destination without some kind of navigation system. And that's what goals are: The GPS for life. If you aimlessly drive around, you're going to wake up and have regrets someday.
Friend, you CAN set goals. Goals that work for you, and that you’re excited about. Goals that make you want to jump out of bed every morning (or, enjoy that leisurely morning that you’ve always just dreamed up in your head!).
So… how do you set goals as a normal human-being?
First… you have GOT to give yourself more credit.
Girl: you have done an INCREDIBLE amount of living this past year! And if you rolled your eyes after reading that, then it’s time for you to look in the rearview mirror and get a REALISTIC view of the past 12 months.
Did you know that our brains were created to remember the BAD stuff that happens? That’s why you always remember every detail of every argument you’ve ever had. It works the same way when you get burned on the stove. Your brain remembers that it’s hot, and you learn to stay away from the burners. It’s a safety mechanism (so you don’t get hurt again!).
Your brain remembers the BAD stuff that happened in the past year, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Your year was filled with a LOT more than mistakes, girl! And if you need some help remembering, you should definitely try my process for reviewing your year.
I use this process every year to change my mindset and get ready for a fresh start! I promise: this will help you remember the good stuff… and let GO of the rest, so you don’t bring it with you into the New Year.
Second, you have GOT to stop telling yourself that you are stuck here.
Have you ever felt like you “Had” to stay here, because there isn’t any other option to change it? I spent a REALLY long time feeling stuck/hopeless, because I felt like I couldn’t make any changes in my circumstances.
I felt overwhelmed by motherhood (but I wouldn’t ask for help). I wanted something different for ALL of my life, but because I couldn't see any way to change it, I stayed in the same place. I wasn't able to see options for change, because I couldn’t see that change was possible.
My mindset was STUCK.
Girl, I don’t care where you’re at in life: Change. Is. Possible. You can change. You can do life differently. There is ALWAYS hope.
Third, you have GOT to get excited about your dreams!
Have you ever felt like your dreams are “too small”? Maybe you really love staying at home with your babies watching Netflix, and you feel like having that as a goal for the new year is just… lame. I’m here to tell you: It’s NOT.
Or maybe you’re the complete opposite: You have MASSIVE dreams. Tons of them, and you don’t know what to do with them. They feel crazy… maybe even a little stupid. The big visions you see are so bold and outrageous that there’s NO WAY you could ever make them, happen, right?
Girl, you have been given your dreams and desires for a reason!
Stop ignoring them. Stop downplaying them. Stop saying they’re too small or too crazy.
I believe that we are each given BIG dreams for our life, and that often those seeds are planted inside of us at a very young age. When I was a five, I told everybody that I wanted to be a Mom. (I really did!) Around the same age, I got to see Reba McEntyre in concert. I turned to my Mom and said “Someday, I’m gonna be up there.”
See I've always loved music and center stage, and I thought I would be on stage playing or singing music. I didn’t realize that God had actually planted a passion inside me for encouragement and public speaking. Now 25 years later, I am wildly chasing the ambitious goal of bringing HOPE to women who need to know that this life is a GOOD life, even when it’s messy and complicated.
And last: Stop Comparing your dreams with someone else’s.
Your dreams aren’t the same as the lady who seems to have it all together on Instagram. Your dreams are’t the same as your Mom’s, or your best friend’s. So:
So stop trying to match them. Stop trying to guilt yourself into a lifestyle that you’re not made for. Stop trying to make decorating a part of your life when you would rather do it once and forget it. Or baking. Or organic homemade everything.
You might love spreadsheets and taxes. Taking photos. Doing puzzles, knitting, or reading books. And that is OKAY. That is GOOD! You are an individual, and you are not created to be like anyone else. Stop comparing! Stop trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole and just GO for the things you’re gifted in.
Are you ready to set big goals for 2020?