I love the moments when I feel most at home in my own skin. They have been coming more often as I'm getting more comfortable with the "Me" that God made. But a few days ago I wrote something in my journal that has really settled into my heart and has given me SO much rest.
I think for years I've tried to make EVERYTHING I do perfect... and I've gotten frustrated when I got interrupted while I was podcasting. Or blogging. Or washing the dishes... but what if the interruptions, the mistakes, and the mess is exactly what makes this life better?
A dear friend of mine started showing me this while I was exercising at her house. When her two little girls got in the middle of her yoga mat, she laughed and paused the video, instead of getting frustrated. And when her oldest tried to do downward dog and fell over, she picked her back up and showed her how to hold the position.
The simple act of letting go of the disruption and just moving forward REALLY smacked me in the face. I realized just how much I was trying to get everything done perfectly.
And seeing her just living peacefully with the interruptions began to change me. I saw it showing up in my own life. Tasha loves to get on the kitchen rug beside my mat... I even try to make sure I have two little tomato paste cans for her to use as weights. 😆
Anyhow. Here's an excerpt from my journal. I hope it blesses you today, dear friend. I hope it encourages you to embrace this messy, imperfect, glorious life a little more each day. 👇🏻
The top shelf of this bookshelf has four of my journals from the past two years.
"Maybe I CAN do this. This crazy blend of All The Things. The back-end of the podcast prep, & yet still enjoying these moments with our small family.
Maybe it's not meant to be one or the other; but a glorious mix of beauty and mess, chaos and wonder.
Maybe instead of trying to make everything work perfectly, I'm just supposed to live fully in the imperfect, messy beauty that is our crazy life."
After I wrote that, I heard that still, small voice whispering:
"Now you're getting it. You don't have to excel at everything, but your days earthside will be much happier if you embrace all you can in this life. It's okay to sit here, in the middle of the chaotic beauty of life. To feel a little overwhelmed, and yet still completely loved, and known, and at peace."
May you embrace the chaotic beauty today. To know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed, and to just go with the flow when your plans don't go quite how you had hoped. Most of all, I hope you experience the beauty and rest and peace, as you realize that you don't HAVE to get it all Just. Right.