What to Do when you’re Stuck in Perfectionism.
Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in perfectionism? Maybe you’re constantly comparing yourself with others when you try something new. Or, you’re judging yourself beside your Mom’s AMAZING skills! Perhaps you always feel like a failure, because everybody else looks like they “Have it all together!” Keep reading to find out what to do when you’re stuck in perfectionism.
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What if your life doesn’t have to be ruled by the constant need to have it all figured out, or be… well, PERFECT? What if you could live more intentionally… and enjoy the process of figuring out what that looks like for you?
What if you let it be messy?
Now, I’m willing to bet the hair on the back of your neck stood up when you read the word “messy.” Hang with me here for a second. 😂
Please hear me: The first time you try anything, it’s going to messy! The first time a baby walks, they fall down. (a lot!) I bet the first machine Michelangelo invented was a total failure! (Imagine if he had given up!)
Here are a few mindset blocks that might be keeping you stuck in perfectionism:
You get stuck in Comparison
Comparison is the THIEF of JOY. It’s literally the WORST! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve posted something about my bullet journals on social media, only to have comments like “Mine doesn’t look like yours!” Umm… No, it doesn’t! And IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO. Your life isn’t supposed to look like mine.
* This is a total side-note/tangent: If you’re following people online keep you stuck in a cycle of comparison… UNFOLLOW THEM. Including me. 😱 You can head to to Instagram of Pinterest and tap “unfollow.” My heart is to help you live more intentionally, but if you’re not getting inspiration from me, then it’s NOT WORTH IT for you! You can live intentionally without me!
You get trapped in a Stuck Mindset.
It frustrates me SO MUCH when I hear people say, “I can’t do it!” or “It’s Impossible!” I just wanna grab them by their shoulders, give them a BIG bear hug, and say “YES, YOU CAN! You just need to let go of the perfectionism, and of your pre-supposed notions of what it “should” look like, and LET IT BE MESSY. Just start!
Look: Chasing Wonderment is going to look different for every single person. It’s going to be different for you, and it’s going to be different for me. We have different values. We have different goals. We have different dreams, and hopes, and desires!
*Another Tangent: That’s the BEAUTY of life! We are all created different, and that’s such a gift. 😍 It’s amazing that humans can learn how to work together and live in harmony when we’re all so very different.
But… what do you do when you’re struggling with perfectionism, comparison, or a stuck mindset?
Here’s what to do when you’re stuck in Perfectionism:
First of all:
Ask yourself WHY.
Why do you think it must be done “this way”? WHY are you so caught up in doing it, or accomplishing it perfectly, or the way that Instagram person (whose life is PERFECT, btw) is doing it. WHY? Just ask yourself WHY! See if you can find the ROOT cause of that mindset — because that root is going to keep you stuck here forever unless you dig it up and rip it out.
Stop giving it “Morality.”
A few months ago, I was stressed out over buying the “right” kind of deodorant. (I wish I was kidding.) 😬 PLEASE HEAR ME: I do believe that there's a moral standard, but I've noticed that perfectionists have a bad habit of applying “right” or “wrong” to things that are a-moral.
If you say that you want to do something the “right” way, then you’re essentially saying that there must also be a “wrong” way. There’s isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to journal. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to fold your laundry!And that’s not how a-moral issues work! Instead of trying to get a-moral things “right,” what if you just decided to see what works for YOU?
and that leads me to my next point…Treat it like an EXPERIMENT.
Feeling like a failure because you can’t “get it right?” GIRL: I’ve been there! (So. Many. Times. 😨) So what if you embraced your housework like it was all a giant experiment? What if there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to wash your dishes? What if you looked at that goal like it was a crazy adventure, and the ups and downs of the journey weren’t a sign of impending doom, but just a hill or valley along your path?
Friend… what if it was MESSY? Here at Chasing Wonderment, “Let it be messy!” is one of our core beliefs. I’ve learned the hard way that living intentionally isn’t about getting it “right.” (Believe me, I’ve TRIED!)
I’ve tried to figure out the “right” way to schedule. I’ve stressed over the “right” way to exercise, and even the “right” way to create this business! And more and more often, as I’m coaching, I find myself saying, “GIRL! Let it be MESSY! Just experiment, have fun, and see what works for you!”
