What to do when the Holidays feel Stressful…
Are you feeling STRESSED about the upcoming holidays? There are a LOT of things that can make the holiday season feel stressful, and it’s a great time to talk about them! In this post, I'm unpacking some tips to help you find more clarity and peace this holiday season.
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Things that can make the holidays stressful:
Expectations. (Things others put on us, and pressure we put on ourselves)
Trying to balance ALL THE THINGS. (Let’s be honest: working mamas don’t get as much time off, AND you have to juggle the kids being home, AND all the added to-do’s with cooking, shopping, etc!)
Guilt about PEOPLE. (Not being able to see ALL THE PEOPLE, only being able to see one side of the family, feeling pulled in a lot of directions, and people pleasing)
Guilt about GIFTS. (Not giving “enough”, not having money, family members who go all out when you’re in a season of saving or lack, people-pleasing around gifts!)
Family. (Drama, not having a “normal” family dynamic, solo-momming it, estranged family, being so stressed that you can’t relax and ENJOY family time!)
Work. (There’s so much more to balance & juggle, plus the extra-long to-do lists and SO MUCH MORE STUFF TO REMEMBER!!!)
So, how do you juggle the stress of the holidays?
GET CLEAR on WHAT MATTERS.
What matters MOST to you? What matters most to your family? What do you want to feel? Experience? The more clear you are on what you WANT the upcoming holidays to feel like, the more clarity you’ll have around making decisions, saying yes or no, the activities you decide to participate in, or NOT participate in, etc!
Figure out what you WANT!
Take that clarity a little deeper, by just asking yourself what it is you WANT! And, by that, I mean, ask yourself what kinds of activities you really want to do, what really helps you get in the spirit of the season! Ask your family what THEY want! What holiday traditions actually matter to your family? Often we add SO MUCH IN, thinking we have to do ALL THE THINGS in order to bring the best memories to our kids, but if you ask them, I bet their perspective might really surprise you.
Figure out what STUFF means to you.
As we come into this season, it’s often a season of added STUFF, right? I would encourage you the spend some time stripping back the layers of what REALLY matters to you — pretend you’re a Who down in Whoville, and the Grinch just took all your stuff! 😁 This is a great time to evaluate what kind of person you want to be, relationship you want to have, and kids you want to raise, and think about how STUFF affects that.
Here’s how this can help…
If you value GIVING, or loving on others — you could do a fun thing where, for every toy you give your kids, they’ll get to pick a gift for one of their friends! They might not get as many toys, but they would probably LOVE getting to share with the people they care about!
If MEMORIES matter to you and your family — You could gift your kids experiences! Vacations, Staycations, local adventures, or a book full of coupons with fun experiences that they can enjoy with you!
If CREATIVITY matters most to you — You could give your kids craft supplies, creative toys, inventions, mechanical or building projects, etc!
*One last thought on all of this: Make sure you take into account the kind of person THEY are, as well! We can absolutely foster what matter to US into our kids, but if our desires and theirs clash, take look at their love language. And look back on the first two points, where you asked them what matters most to THEM! This helps you to make sure you’re loving your people in a way that will mean a LOT to them.
MAMAS: This is also a GREAT TIME to do the Great Toy Purge of 2022! 😂 If you’ve had thousands of happy meal toys and junk from the dollar store building up over the past year, make time to sort through it! If your kids are little and you know they won’t miss the toys, just remove all the things they’re not playing with, and donate them or throw ‘em away! If your kids are older, remind them that they’ll be getting a LOT of new toys, and encourage them to sort through their current collection and see if there’s anything that they would like to donate or share with others. I promise: they won’t miss them on Christmas morning in the middle of all the new stuff. 😁
Here’s the exciting thing about doing this thought-work: Once you understand what matters MOST to you, you can use these things like FILTERS. You can go over your calendar or plans, and ask yourself, “Do these things line up with what matters most?” And when Aunt so-and-so calls you and is putting pressure on you to do x, y, or z… you have a better understanding of whether or not that activity lines up with what matters to you and your family.
This can eliminate SO MUCH decision fatigue and stress around the holidays! If you struggle with people pleasing and feeling overwhelmed by ALL the decisions that come during this season, and knowing what matters to you and yours can make a huge difference in your peace, joy, and rest! 🌿
Are you feeling stressed about the Holidays this year?
This season comes with a LOT of extra stuff… how are you supposed to juggle it all?
The Intentional Holidays Guide is a collection of journaling prompts designed to help you get intentional about the holiday season.
Do you need some extra support this season?
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