The Truth about Relationships.
If you’re in any kind of relationship… there’s a good chance you’ve experienced some struggle and tension. In this post, I'm sharing the TRUTH about relationships, with some hard-hitting personal growth tips.
Prefer to Listen? Press Play Below!
I’ve got to be honest — I did NOT want to write this post. Only because… I don’t feel qualified to speak on this subject. I am NOT a relationships expert! I’ve only been married for 11 years. So — not a lot of time under my belt so far. 🤷🏻♀️
But when a follower shared that she was struggling in her marriage, God made it pretty clear that I needed to share some encouragement. I also want to say that I hope these principles can be used for more than just “romantic” relationships — you might also be able to apply them to friendships, co-workers, etc.
So… here goes…
* (PLEASE NOTE: If you are in, or suspect you are in an abusive relationship, PLEASE get help! You are worth TOO MUCH to be treated like this. 💔)
The truth about relationships.
You can ONLY control you.
The first thing that I want to talk about is putting the focus on the only person you have control over: YOU. So often in arguments or struggles, we tend to think, “If only they would ___…”
Recently my hubby came home after a frustrating day, and when he went in the kitchen he said something snippy to me. Of course, I got angry, and snipped back… but after a few minutes, I realized something: No matter his state of mind, I wasn’t being the person that I wanted to be.
The truth was, when he walked in the door, I checked out. Instead of being intentional, I was scrolling on my phone. And in that moment, I realized that I needed to quit worrying about what he was or wasn’t doing, and start doing and being the person I said I wanted to be.
So my challenge to you is this: Put the focus on YOURSELF. Because you are the only one you can control in ANY relationship.
Learn About Personalities.
Look out: I’m about to get Nerdy. I am totally obsessed with personality typing, because it is such a powerful tool for personal growth.
A quick Google search over 50% of struggles in relationships are communication. And the biggest struggle that my hubby and I faced is that I really struggle to communicate! I’m a “stuffer…” Instead of saying that I’m not happy or struggling, I used to stuff it in until I couldn’t anymore, and then… IMPLOSION.
Learning that my husband is logical and I’m a feeler was our first step. It gave me the words I needed to logically explain WHY I was reacting the way that I was.
*I recommend the Meyer’s Briggs and Enneagram the most!
Get HONEST.
Here’s a really hard truth I had to learn. “I’m Fine.” is a lie. I know — OUCH. But, because I’m a negative emotion stuffer, “I’m fine” was my favorite go-to phrase. (I still have to fight it, to be honest!) If you’re an “I’m fine” girl like me, then you need to do the HARD work of training yourself to speak the truth in love. It’s uncomfortable, I know… but being honest about your feelings can do wonders.
On the flip side, if you’re a FOUNT of honesty, you might need to hold back on sharing your opinion until you’ve gotten the other person’s opinion. Put yourself in their shoes, and imagine WHY they might be doing what they’re doing. Try to think of a few ideas or possibilities — this helps you to see that there’s more than one way to look at the issue at hand! You can also get REALLY bold and ask for their perspective… BEFORE you give your opinion. 🤯
WORK. ON. YOURSELF.
This is the HARDEST thing I’m going to share… The only person you can fix is yourself. If you work on your own growth, decide what kind of person you want to be, learn how to communicate, and get honest, it’s going to do one of two things:
It will either call them up, or they’ll decide to walk away.
Like I said: OUCH. It seems harsh to say that, but people are either ready to grow and change, or they aren’t. And you deciding to grow and change will push them closer to making their own decision.
Are you ready to grow?
Join me for a Wonder Session!
You'll get a ½ hour chat with me to talk about your mindset, intentional living, or whatever — no strings attached. 😉