What to do when you feel Under Appreciated in your work…
Have you ever felt under-appreciated in your work? Whether you work a 9 to 5, or a 24/7 (I mean — you’re a stay-at-home parent! 😁), you’ve probably wished that someone would notice your efforts. In this post, I'm unpacking what to do when you feel under-appreciated in your work.
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You need to know that it’s NORMAL to feel this — in ANY job!
If you’re a Mom, it’s easy to feel under-appreciated, because, let’s face it: Your kids never like ANY of the food you cook, and HOW COULD YOU make them clean up their room?!
If you work outside the home, it’s also really common to feel under-appreciated. ESPECIALLY if you’re a self-starter, you’re always trying to do your best, be a great employee, etc.
EVEN if you’re self-employed… it’s actually STILL normal to feel “under-appreciated” because, let’s be honest, your self-talk is not always the best, and you’re probably constantly telling yourself that you’re not doing a good enough job, you’re behind, etc…
Here’s what to do when you feel Under Appreciated at Work:
So, first up, let’s get SUPER practical…
You might need to consider if this is your dream job or not. And, if not — that’s OKAY! So, now you’ve got one step closer to figuring out what you want life to look like in the future.
For me, I realized a long time ago that I’m not 100% happy in full-time, stay-at-home-motherhood. And I felt SO guilty about that for SO long — but I’ve realized that I needed to give myself permission to see what it might look like to NOT be a full-time stay at home mom.
And, to be honest, it’s looked very different over the past couple of years, because I am still the main care-taking parent… AND we started homeschooling during the pandemic! But realizing that I both love being a mom, AND that I have big dreams gave me permission to look for unique ways to create space for other work & hobbies.
Alright, now let’s dig into some mindset…
If you’re feeling under-appreciated at work, there’s a REALLY good chance that you’re putting your worth in someone else’s hand. You might not even realize you’re doing that… but it would be worth some soul-searching to uncover the heart of the matter.
Again, I think it’s really normal to wonder if our work matters. To question if it’s helping others, or, if our bosses or families or clients think we’re doing a good job.
But, instead of wondering what THEY think about you, I want to flip the script for a moment, and ask you this question:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOU?
Here’s what I mean by this: If you never got praise, accolades, or never got told you were doing a great job… What kind of person do you want to be, regardless?
The beautiful (and HARD!) part about this mindset shift is that you get to DECIDE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. What kind of person do you want to show up as, in the job that you’re in? How do you want to show up to your work?
When you decide WHO YOU ARE in the midst of any situation in your life, you’re taking ownership over the ONE THING you have control over: YOU.
Listen, in my line of work I don’t get a ton of praise. And it’s been hard! Most people don’t praise Moms for doing normal mom-stuff, right? “Congratulations, you folded another load of laundry!” And you usually don’t get much recognition as an entrepreneur — not at least until you hit a big milestone like getting press, 6 figures, etc.
I want to share this story I heard on a podcast that completely changed the way I viewed ALL of my work (you can listen to it here!).
* Editing this to add: I got a few details of Dean's story wrong in the podcast episode - whoops! 😬 It's been a while since I listened… but if you get a chance to listen, the real version is MUCH better than my retelling!
Dean Graziosi — now a well-known entrepreneur — started out as a lot of us have… bootstrapping it! He started cutting firewood, then learned how to be a mechanic. He got to the point where he opened his own garage… but he was getting tired of motors, and really wanted MORE for his life. But he didn’t have any capital saved up to move on to a new venture.
So, he decided to show up to his work and be the person that he wanted to be. He showed up with joy and gratitude, even on the days when he really didn’t want to be there. One day, this guy walked in He complimented him on his attitude, and said “Man, you must REALLY love your work!”
Dean thought, “Boy… if only you knew how tired I am of being a mechanic…” but instead he said that he was grateful for where he was at. As they talked, Dean shared that he would LOVE to get into real estate, so he was working towards that, and he shared an idea about a local property.
The next day, the man showed back up at his garage — with a check for many thousands of dollars. 😳 Dean said that he probably wouldn’t have gotten that opportunity… except that he decided to show up intentionally to that job as his best self, every day.
My point is this:
Get REALLY crystal clear on WHO you want to be, HOW you want to show up, and WHAT that looks like.
What does that look like on the bad days? (Because, nobody’s expecting you to be a Pollyanna here!) What does that look like on the days when you’re putting in the work, and nobody seems to notice?
Here’s the hardest part:
You’re going to have to be your OWN cheerleader!
The goal is to shift your mindset from WANTING that, to NOT NEEDING that. And that’s HARD! But I’m willing to bet that if you decide WHO you want to be, and start living that out every day… people are going to notice. (and someone’s going to say something!)
One last thing I want to mention:
There is NOTHING WRONG with asking for encouragement! My love-language is “Words of Affirmation,” which means that sometimes I really NEED a verbal “pick me up” in order to feel loved! I actually try to make it a priority to share personal wins or growth with my hubby and my besties.
When I open up and share something exciting with my people, they get excited with me, and cheer me on! It is OKAY to need encouragement and affirmation — just make sure you’re asking for what you need, from people that you love and trust. ❤️
(Maybe you need to tell the person that you love that you want words of affirmation… and if you need to chat about communicating, head to episode 47! )
Here are some Journaling Prompts to help you take this a step farther:
How do you want to show up in this work? (Really go deep on this — what do you want your Energy, Mindset, Work Ethic, and Standards to be?)
What kind of person do you need to be in order to show up this way?
How can you be my own cheerleader when my work life isn’t easy? (Maybe you could create your own “personal best” challenges? Find tangible ways to celebrate your wins!)
Are you ready to grow?
Join me for a Wonder Session!
You'll get a ½ hour chat with me to talk about your mindset, intentional living, or whatever — no strings attached. 😉